Jon and I talked about jealousy today. I am jealous for my son – for my children, as a second is on his way. So many people have to use day care services, and we are so blessed not to have that need. I would rather be at home with my boys than anywhere else.
This is the final part of my series called “Wisdom Builds Her Home.” I’ve really enjoyed exploring how to build a home as a believer in Christ: growing in wisdom, using my hands in practical ways, having an attitude of love and service, and strengthening my family by praying for them.
Part 4 is one of the deepest desires of my heart: to be my son’s primary influence – his mentor and teacher. That’s what a Mom is, whether she owns up to it or not. Dads are too; but in the case of a stay-at-home-mom, this responsibility is literally 24/7.
I never understood the weight of that before. Riley follows me, studies me, copies me, catches me muttering or daydreaming… I don’t have to be in a classroom to be a teacher anymore. My student is my own flesh and blood. It’s a little scary.
Always taking everything in. What a beautiful thing, how impressionable kids are.
And I want to teach him, even though I’m flawed and clumsy and forgetful and still very foolish. I want Riley to learn what life is like, and love, and Jesus, from me. Manners. Cooking. How to set the table. That it’s okay to get dirty. How to get along with siblings, cousins, and friends. How to deal with disappointment and sadness. Winning with grace.
(How can he already look this grown up?)
He spends a lot of time growling. And walking. And falling. And dragging poor Bunny around by one ear.
Back on topic!
As I pondered being a teacher/mentor every moment of every day, I realized how many snippy comments, names launched at other drivers, and bad reactions my son may learn from me every day. And then God graciously reminded me to just keep my eyes on HIM. Tomorrow is new. After all, one of the most important lessons I can teach is probably how to be wrong – able to admit it, apologize for it, and show improvement.
What a job!
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
“My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Colossians 2:2,3
There you have it. Behind everything there’s this pull in my heart: open up the mystery of Christ – whatever I understand of it – to my children. And I have the privilege of doing that with my husband. What a great guy!
The best thing about this is that “in [Christ] are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” As our sons grow and hopefully learn to love the Lord, they’ll grow in wisdom and continue the cycle of building wise and godly homes – safe and loving places of creativity, strength, and service for others.
May God help me to become, over time, like my favorite teachers: my parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles, and now my in-laws too. Some taught me to walk and play nice and sew and love music. Some taught me to rock climb, hike, and swim. Some taught me to cook, to experiment, and to be creative. All taught me that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
Lord, build our house your way. It’s too big a job for me. But I’ll gladly work by your side and enjoy watching the Master and Teacher.