Dear God: From the Wonderful World of Weeds

Dear God,

Remember how I told you I’d write this blog to encourage people?  Please use my foibles today to accomplish that.  May I ask you a question, since You are the Master Gardener?

Can a green thumb be a sign that weeds are making me sick?  

We met for church at our house.  I couldn’t wait to show off my little marigold sprouts.  Marigolds.  Not WEEDS!  Turns out everything plant-like that was growing in my porch boxes, each inch-and-a-half tall sprout that had been lovingly cultivated and cleared of weeds…was a weed

Off to the backyard! 

Some things which appear to be bamboo are not, in fact, bamboo!  Japanese Knotweed (Godzilla Weed, we’re calling it)  looks just like bamboo, but is not – I repeat – NOT nice:

One of the world’s 100 worst invasive species. 

Likes to grow taller than mankind and choke out the life of every living plant around it.

Root systems that destroy building foundations.

Illegal to transplant, now that people know its true nastiness.

Stubborn little buggers that resprout in the garden.  I thought shade was a problem.  Not really.  Godzilla Weed is a problem.  (Although the dry stalks are useful for staking beans!)

May I dedicate a bit of this prayer to my hero, Jon?  He saw my crestfallen and dejected state and declared, “I am making it my mission to save your garden.”  Now I can’t look at him without seeing a superhero in a cape, maybe a green one, wielding a can of RoundUp and a pair of giant clippers.  I am smitten.

So what are the superhero and the very round pregnant lady to do?


Chop it!  Dig it!  Spray it!

And pray.

Lord, I may not be able to grow marigolds on the first try, but you can grow patience and perseverance in me.  And I may not know what knotweed is when I choose my garden location, but you are wise and know all things, including what will and will not grow out back.

Thank you for giving us the space to dig up and the will to keep trying.

We’ll do our best.  Would you make our garden a success despite the setbacks?  Help me to look on the sunny side of the not-bamboo and see a weed-free future.

I do believe heaven will be overflowing with incredible gardens and there won’t be a stinkin weed anywhere.  I’m looking forward to that.



5 thoughts on “Dear God: From the Wonderful World of Weeds

  1. I’d say it’s tragic that you have that awful weed in your yard but I did
    get some laughs from the funny side of your prayer. Keep a good attitude
    and maybe you’ll kill it with love and your superhero!

    • That’s precisely why I wrote it! Glad you got a laugh 🙂 Mom and Dad came over and dumped 2,000lb of poo – er, compost – and tilled it in. Between those two and my superhero, the garden is ready to plant! We just left the section with the Godzilla Weed alone so it can be attacked with love and poison. 🙂

  2. My parents unknowingly moved into a knotweed forest out in Spokane and my mom is a big gardener. She has had much success despite them- and knotweed stalks tremble at the sound of her approach.

  3. I think she’s basically just done exactly what you are doing. She hates the idea of using roundup in her yard but it’s the only thing that works. So she lies in wait for the sprouts and springs on them as soon as they pop their little heads up.

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