The Tower of TErrorrrrrrrrr

That title should be said in a dramatic announcer’s voice.  Go ahead.  Try it.  The edible Tower of Terror contains layer after layer of refried beans – and as no one in our family can resist a fart joke, well…  You get the picture.

I was dying to make homemade beans, which turned into refried beans, which are SO much better done at home than bought in a can.  Here’s a link to the recipe I followed for that: http://www.hillbillyhousewife.com/refriedbeans.htm – and if you’ve never checked out the whole Hillbilly Housewife site, DO SO.  It’s an awesome money-saving, home-cooking website.

The Tower of Terror is a beautiful, intestine-burbling layering job that you have got to try!  Really, if you boil your beans with a little baking soda, skim off the foam, and dump out the boiled-in water, you get rid of a lot of the gas-producing stuff.  All that’s left is healthy protein-y goodness.  And some gas.

But it’s BEANS.  So I have to joke.  Somewhere out there my parents are shaking their heads saying, “Where did we go wrong?”

The Tower of Terror

Ingredients

refried beans (beans, the magical fruit – the more you eat, the more you toot)

rice (brown or white, you pick)

shredded lettuce

chopped tomatoes

cheddar or shredded cheese of any variety

sour cream, salsa or whatever extra toppings you like (including olives, but personally…BLECH.)

hot sauce (El Tapatio’s is the ONLY acceptable variety in our house)

flour tortillas (you could use those little corn ones, but I prefer the taste of these)

Method

Cook your rice of choice.

Reheat your beans in a skillet with butter, bacon grease, oil, or another form of fat to keep it from sticking.  

Mash the beans with a potato masher while they come up to temperature.  They should be lumpy and deliciously texturized.

I added some garlic powder, chili powder, and cumin to mine.  Otherwise they’re a little bland.

When dinner is getting close to being ready, toast a tortilla to make it crispy.  This could actually be done in the bean skillet before the beans are refried.  But if you want them hot, toss your tortillas in a toaster oven for a few minutes at the end until they’re lightly browned.

If you skip the toasting step, your tower will be the Leaning Tower of Beansa.  Ha ha.

(*chirping crickets*)

Cut the crispy tortillas into large wedges.  Kitchen shears make this very easy.

Start building your Tower of Terror by placing a wedge on a plate, and smearing bean goo all over it.  Next add rice, then cheese, then beans (for a glue effect), and finally another tortilla wedge.  In the next layer, use some veggies in between bean smears.  That sounds wrong.  In between spreads of bean.  How’s that?

Or don’t.  It’s up to you how much of which ingredients you put where.  If you have sour cream, which I didn’t (*sob*), drob a dollop (world’s worst word) on top.  Maybe top that with a sprink of fresh cilantro or parsley, or even the lettuce for a garnish. 

Whatever you have for leftover building blocks, add them to your serving plate.  People can pick at that plate to their heart’s content.

Results

This is all that was left at the end of the meal:

The tower hath been consumed from the earth.  And yet to the earth it shall be returned.

Attempt with caution.

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7 thoughts on “The Tower of TErrorrrrrrrrr

  1. Good to know about the baking soda! I will have to try that… I am rather, um, sensitive to beans, but I love them! One thing I do that I think is very tasty, is saute the cooked beans in oil with chopped onion and garlic and cumin. Then I I pour the whole mixture into my good old food processor and blend until smooth. Yum! On a side note, black beans were B’s very favorite finger food for a LONG time. You can imagine the diapers.

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